Wednesday, 4 January 2017

A letter from me, to you.

2017 is the perfect excuse for a reflection and a little confession, right?

As i sit here, slumped in bed on a Tuesday afternoon, I start to panic about the lack of posts and Instagram photos lately and I frantically try to jot down a few ideas. Then I get all sad and mopey and put my phone away.

Truth is, I've not really cared much when it comes to my blog lately, nor have I cared much about anything. I treated myself to a new blog design, stalking Etsy for hours for the perfect one in the hopes of that giving me some sort of motivation - yet, I can't find the will to be happy about it. - I hope you lot like it though??? it's definitely something different.

I'm practically a walking advertisement for stress relief, I'm having sleepless nights worrying about university. It's come to that time in the dreaded university span where I'm unsure if i'm doing the best that I can. Or which career path I'm going to take afterwards, and if I can get a career in industry at all. I mean, I've not really had the best results this semester and I'm really not used to not doing well. I know this sounds very naive and snobby but I'm not, so it's a huge spike to the system to me.  

Sprinkle these thoughts into a huge pot of anxiety I'm already swimming in (thanks christmas flab) and you can measure how I'm feeling right now. Being home and having next to no worries does nothing for my comfort eating either I'm telling ya! Whoever thought christmas chocolates were a good idea we're definitely trying to ruin my figure.

Anyway this post is a complete fresh start - a true sin confession. A chance to knowingly hold my hands up to you all, regardless of whether you care or not, and say that I've not been okay - but admitting is the first step (thanks kanye) and I'm getting back on track. With a few planned 'me-time' days and a whole lot of resolutions to keep me busy, I'll get my mojo back in no time.

I'd also like to take this time to thank you all for the love in 2016, I never dreamt I'd ever get this far with blogging, I still remember the days where I'd feel so disheartened at my 11 followers but I never gave up, and now here I am with all of you and I'm so glad you've gave me this platform, so I can rant to my little hearts content and feel like I could be reaching some of you. 

Love Jennifer x 

9 comments :

  1. This post describes exactly how I'm feeling today. It helps to know I'm not the only one!

    I did a similar degree (IFP at MMU) and believe me there's a lot you can go into once you've finished, even if you start in something basic like social media, it will still benefit your career whilst you figure out what to do next. That's what I'm doing alongside my masters anyway!

    Hope you're feeling bad ass again soon

    Tie dye eyes

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    1. so lovely to hear I'm not the only one in this higgle! thanks so much for the lovely comment allie xx

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  2. Hope you're feeling back to yourself soon Jennifer - it's totally ok to not care about your blog - it's happened to me plenty of times. Sometimes you need to take a step back and focus on other important things!xx

    Lucy x | lucy-cole.co.uk

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  3. Hope your all okay Jen & a very very very belated happy birthday! (Sorry I'm terrible at time keeping). I couldn't agree with you more on this one. Sometimes the spark fizzles out a bit and it just takes time to get back into the swing of things. Hope life's treating you well.

    Jade x | pintsizepixie.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. hahaha i'm the worst too. no worries! thank you so much jade! xxx

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  4. Oh Jennifer, this broke my heart to read! I really do hope that things start to look brighter soon. Not caring about blogging is both totally normal (I think we all go through it - I know I have) and totally okay. There's no pressure to post. If you force yourself to do it for our sake then you're just not going to enjoy it and the whole thing is going to make you feel worse.

    I know this is SUPER cheesy, but when I'm feeling like you are right now, this quote by Rupi Kaur helps me: "And here you are, living despite it all". So basically, my GOD, all of this is going on and you're still living and still trying and still doing the best you can right now. That's pretty damn amazing if you ask me. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing great!

    Curly and Wordy

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    1. i love you!!!!!!! thank you so much beth xxx

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  5. I sorta had the same feelings in life last year around midway through the year when university started getting a bit difficult and blogging and all that just didn't seem worth it in the long run! I somehow managed a way through and past all that and the only thing you can do is really just look forward and move forward! Hope everything in the new year and new uni year works out for you!
    Kathy x
    Alongcamekathy

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